Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I can't turn off my feet"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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