he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
