Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
