The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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