Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
