Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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