What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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