I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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