he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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