well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
