dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
