Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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