What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
