My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
