Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
