There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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