I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
