i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
