dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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