in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
