Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
