I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm both gender and math confused
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
