I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
