Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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