There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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