is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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