Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
