"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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