reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
