Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize