I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
