party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
