How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
