can we get nightvision for the apartment?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
