ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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