Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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