you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
