I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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