no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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