Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My dick has a subreddit
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
