she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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