were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
