i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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