I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
