I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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