is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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