i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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