my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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