There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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