Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
