Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
