We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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