you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Even my vagina gasped.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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