dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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