Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize