Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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