i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
