Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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