On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
