wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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